




COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 


I 







SATCHEL SERIES, No. 28. 





Kept 

House. 

PRICE 15 CENTS. 




HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


A STORY OF CHICAGO HARD TIMES. 



NEW YORK : 

THE AUTHORS’ PUBLISHING COMPANY, 

27 BOND STREET. 


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Copyright, 1880, 

By The Authors* Publishing Company. 


ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 


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PREFACE. 


I present my plain little tale with a sort of 
misery-loves-company feeling, knowing that so many 
have gone through the unpleasant experience of hav- 
ing their “purple and fine linen” worn threadbare 
by the rapidity with which they have slipped down 
the icy hill of adversity. I trust not a few, and par- 
ticularly those who “know how it is themselves,” will 
be afforded a half-hour’s pleasure in reading the true 
but old, old story. 

B. A. 


4 


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HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


CHAPTER I. 

THE WEDDING. 

The invitations read thus : — 

The Hon. Mr. and Mrs. Ralph R. Wetherow 

REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY 
AT 

The Marriage Ceremony of their Daughter 
LEONORA 

AND 

ROBERT AUGUSTUS MORTIMER, 

Thursday, September 1st, 7 P. M., 


St. Cfcu nfi. 


6 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


The big cream-tinted, monogrammed envelope con- 
tained all the necessary accompanying cards: 

The Hon. Mr. and Mrs. Ralph R. Wetherow 
Will Receive 

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1st, FROM 8 TO 10 P. M., 

No. 8 (Kranir Ebmu*. 

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Augustus Mortimer, 

At Home 

WEDNESDAYS AFTER DECEMBER 16th, 
ptotfl 3U 3Sott ®on. 

Last, but not least, the little “ Please present at the 
Church.” 

All these were gotten up regardless of expense, and 
done in the most approved style of the artistic engraver, 
and ivory-tinted, cream-laid, satin-finish note paper and 
cardboard. 

All the people of any standing in Chicago society 
among our acquaintances were honored with cards. 
Not a few presented the magic pasteboard at the 
church door. Everything was done in the most elab- 
orate possible manner. Everybody was anxious to be 
present at what was without doubt the most elegant 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


7 


and recherche wedding of the season. Such generous 
floral decorations had seldom been seen. The ladies’ 
toilets were expensive beyond description. They vied 
with one another in the elegance of their attire. As 
the long line of carriages emptied their loads of velvets, 
satins, laces, and jewels at the carpetted and canopied 
door, it was a difficult task to decide which wore the 
richest garments, until I, the bride, leaning on the arm 
of my distinguished-looking papa, swept up the broad 
aisle, bringing up the rear of the long procession of six 
ushers, eight elegantly arrayed bridesmaids and grooms- 
men, and mamma in her black velvet and diamonds. 

My stiff white satin eclipsed everything present, and 
glimmered and glistened beneath the cobweb of point 
lace, which enveloped the three yards of train, and fell 
in such folds as only Worth’s tasteful hand can con- 
trive. The immense solitaire diamond eardrops, neck- 
lace, pendant, bracelets, and butterfly fastenings for the 
veil (all the gift of the groom), shone and sparkled in 
the bright gaslight. It was a question which the 
young ladies envied the most — the diamond ornaments, 
or the handsome groom, who was attired after the most 
ultra fashionable style. 

The ceremony over, we turned to leave the crowded 


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SOW BOB AND I KEPT SOUSE. 


church, carrying with us the blessings of the Rev. Dr. 
Haughty, and an elegant ivory-covered prayer-book, the 
gift of the reverend gentleman. 

We drove to father’s mansion in our new twenty-five 
hundred dollar coupe, drawn by a span of blooded 
horses, the whole turnout, one of father’s royal gifts — 
driver, groom and horses wearing wedding favors. The 
house was a perfect fairy land, with banks of flowers, 
and floods of light. The guests were even more bril- 
liant than at the church. — The wedding supper all that 
a caterer’s art could devise. The wine as choice in 
quality as it was generous in quantity. The presents 
were magnificent and varied in the extreme, including 
everything from a ten-acre lot, in the heart of the city, 
down to the proverbial salt-cellars. 

The papers contained full accounts of the wedding 
and minute descriptions of my extensive imported ward- 
robe. Dresses, bonnets, cloaks, and wrappers were de- 
scribed, not forgetting the smallest particulars in regard 
to the quality of lace and embroidery on the many 
dozen sets of underwear. 

And why all this gorgeousness ? Was not I the 
only daughter of the Hon. Ralph R. Wetherow, the 
solid and wealthy retired merchant of Chicago, married 


now BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


9 


to Robert Augustus Mortimer, one of the most promi- 
nent real estate dealers in the west. He had amassed 
a larger fortune in real estate than any one man in 
the city. He was handsome, agreeable, affectionate, and 
only thirty-five. The man pleased me. The money 
pleased father and mother . 

I was young, stylish, and rich — but youth and beauty 
were the requisite articles with Bob, money being no 
object to a millionnaire. Did not Robert possess an acre 
of land for every dollar father held in government 
bonds ? 

What more could our hearts desire, Health, wealth, 
and happiness already in our possession, and wisdom to 
come with increasing years. Who ever before set sail 
on the journey of life with their boat so freighted with 
matrimonial treasure. How was it possible that such 
a barque could be swamped, with strong arms at the 
helm, and trusting hearts somewhere covered up among 
the load of wordly goods, to act as ballast in case of 
storm. 

Oh, what if the care of this wealth should distract 
our minds from the gathering clouds, and our newly- 
tried boat should be tossed about on the angry waves, 
with loose sails and no anchor ! but no such thought had 


10 


SOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


a place in our giddy heads. Of course our vessel was 
seaworthy, and could be safely moored in any storm. 
No gale could change her course from that of peace and 
happiness. Certainly, we would drift down through life 
with all the eclat of the beginning. 

But, alas, the uncertainty of life and Chicago real 
estate. 


CHAPTER II. 


THE START UPON THE WEDDING TOUR. 

We drove away from the gay throng at father’s 
mansion, amid a shower of rice, old slippers, shoes, and 
all the other luckv things common to such occasions. 
I was delighted with this evidence of our friends’ good 
wishes for our happiness ; but Bob was disgusted, such 
demonstrations were absurd, and the trash would only- 
break the windows and scratch our new carriage, or 
frighten the spirited horses. 

We were met at the depot by all the attendants, 
including the ushers, father and mother, all of whom 
accompanied us to Hew York. 

Of course we could not travel among the “ common 
herd,” so a palatial sleeping car was in readiness. 
Meals, including wines, were served in the coach — no 
expense was spared to render the trip the most delight- 
ful of the kind ever taken. 

Everybody had such a perfectly lovely time, that 
they all regretted our arrival in Hew York, where, how- 


12 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


ever, these friends were entertained in the very toniest 
of style. 

After a week of uninterrupted gayety, we set sail 
for Europe. 

We were wellnigh devoured with kisses, smothered 
with flowers, parting mementos, and keepsakes. My 
elegant travelling suit was, in danger of ruin w T ith good- 
bye tears. Bob’s shirt front and nobby scarf were 
greatly demoralized by the tearful embraces of dear 
mamma, in her anxiety to impress this new husband 
with the great responsibility he had undertaken, in the 
care of me. All this Bob bore with questionable polite- 
ness and fortitude. “ Had he not crossed the ocean 
four times, and did anybody suppose he was such an 
idiot as not to be able to take care of one little woman 
as well as himself. He certainly should not have mar- 
ried without the ability to take care of a wife.” 

The first day out was spent in talking over the 
events of the past ten days. A retrospective view was 
most charmingly gratifying. Certainly, no bridal had 
ever been attended with such unprecedented success, 
not one thing occurring to mar the whole affair, not 
but two unpleasant days in the ten. 

Our voyage promised to be as delightful as our 

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SOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


13 


buoyant hearts could wish; but, alas! we were doomed 
to disappointment. The dizziness and whirls in my 
poor head, the consequence of the constant round of 
gayety, were making their last turns, and my giddy brain 
was experiencing something of its natural settled feeling. 

But, horrors! the settling of my brain only un- 
settled my stomach. The second day out found me the 
sole and lonely occupant of our elegant state-room. 

Of course a man like Bob was never seasick; no- 
body but foolish and delicate women would succumb 
to such a weakness. How I wished I had not come, as 
I lay regardless of dishevelled hair, careless of the 
wrinkles in my rose-colored dressing-gown, thinking 
of who would wear my elegant new clothes, and who 
would fall heir to my diamonds, when I died. Of course 
I would die , be wound up in a sheet, and be thrown 
overboard ; and just then I did not care a straw, if I 
furnished food for the sharks. The one thing which 
distressed me the most, was Bob’s fresh, bright face, 
every few minutes, thrust in the half-open door, with 
the inquiry, “ How do you feel now ? ” 

But the fourth day out, the face appeared less fre- 
quently, and had lost much of its brilliant color. At 
last Bob came in hastily, closed the door with a sudden 


14 


no W BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


bang. The sparkle had left his eye, the roses had 
deserted his cheeks, the features were pale and drawn. 

The other berth had an occupant! Need I say, 
that this circumstance afforded me more pleasure than 
anything which had happened since we left home. 

Between the alarming lurches of the steamer, Bob 
would stop, swearing long enough to discuss the great 
impropriety of second marriages , and wonder if widow’s 
weeds would be becoming to me, and if his will was 
drawn up properly. The end came. Two more for- 
lorn people never tried to assist one another to put 
the travelling paraphernalia in order for landing, and a 
more delighted couple never set foot upon shore. 

Bob was all right after a few hours on terra firma , 
but it was many days before I could convince myself, 
that I was not swinging somewhere between the top and 
the bottom of the ocean with the great waves breaking 
about me. But rest was out of the question, we must 
be at home before the Christmas holidays and winter 
gayeties, and all the sight-seeing possible was to be 
crowded into the three months. So we immediately 
set about the work of laying out plans. Few travellers 
ever made better use of time, than we did of that three 
months. 


CHAPTER III. 


THE EUROPEAN TOUR. 

In the tour of Great Britain, we visited the man- 
ufactories, the lovely lakes, the castles, squares, parks, 
churches, cathedrals, docks, museums, gardens, picture 
galleries, public and private, palaces, public buildings 
and institutions, and all the places of historic interest. 

In Paris, we were charmed. The boulevards, the 
imperial palaces, libraries, galleries, statues, street 
sights, and shopping, occupied our time during the day. 
At night the hours passed on “fleeting wing,” at the 
grand theatres and operas, not forgetting the Jardin 
Mabile. We took in all the most interesting towns 
in the environs of the city, and then rushed over the 
remaining part of France and Belgium prescribed by 
the most reliable guide-books. We hurried through 
Holland, with its checker-board of canals, and its 
quaint Dutch cottages kept bright and clean by the 
native female scrubbers. The many pictures by old 
Dutch masters, and the “ T Huis in’t Bosch,” the 


16 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


cozy, but nevertheless lonely home of the then living 
Queen of Holland, all came in for their share of ad- 
miration. 

In Germany we loitered more slowly through the 
grand picture and sculpture galleries. 


At Berlin we admired the palaces on the beautiful 
“ Unter den Linden,” where the wealth and fashion 
of the city display themselves and the splendor of their 
equipages. 

A stay at Dresden, noted for its superb pictures 
and far-famed china, and another stop at Leipsic, the 
paradise of book-worms and university students, who 
cherish a fond memory for the wine-cellar where Me- 
phistophiles and Doctor Faustus were presiding spirits, 
and from which Goethe drew a scene in familiar Faust, 
and a few daj's at other smaller towns, was time most 
delightfully spent. 

We drank Bavarian beer in Munich and the salty 
spring waters at Baden-Baden, and feasted our eyes on 
the lovely scenery of the Khine. Who that has seen 
those acres of grape-vines, does not have a longing 
for the wine made from the products of the vineyards ? 

In Switzerland, we visited the picturesque lakes ; 
bought clocks and music-boxes at Geneva, but declined 


MOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 17 

to make the. various trips that require mules or don- 
keys for means of conveyance. 

In Austria, Vienna was found most eminently en- 
joyable. We viewed, with republican eyes, the rich no- 
bility, and our ears were charmed with the music of 
the genial and merry Viennese. We looked with awe 
upon the historic antiquities preserved in the museums 
with religious relics. Among the latter we saw the 
table-cloth used at the last supper, and the tooth of 
John the Baptist. 

In Italy, we rode the water-streets of Venice, and 
gazed in admiring wonderment upon the palaces of 
Genoa, the beautiful villas and churches, remarkable 
for their architectural beauty and interior decorations, 
not omitting the grand works of art found at fair 
Florence. 

In Rome, we paid flying visits to ruins, the tombs, 
the Vatican, and spacious halls, containing magnificent 
works of brush and chisel, regretting all the while 
that our time was so limited. 

Naples and the surrounding points of interest, in- 
cluding Vesuvius Pompeii, and Herculaneum were 
visited. 

At all places of note we made purchases of arti- 


18 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


cles peculiar to the locality, and when the time came 
to sail for home, our luggage was something prodi- 
gious. Having the embellishment of our home con- 
stantly in view, we passed by nothing in the way of 
ornaments that could be properly shipped, which taste 
desired and money could purchase. We left orders 
for valuable paintings, bronze and marble statuary, 
rare pieces of furniture and choice wines. Our large 
pile of boxes and trunks were crammed with cloths, 
laces, jewelry, household linen, mosaics, and number- 
less choice knick-knacks and gems in endless variety 
for gifts, as well as our own use. 

When all these treasures were unpacked and spread 
out in father’s spacious dining-room, mother decided 
that the collection, as far as quantity, beauty, and value 
were concerned, bore a nearer resemblance to the 
superb offerings brought by the Queen of Sheba to 
King Solomon, than anything she could imagine. 

Our friends were apparently as delighted to see us 
as they were pleased with their costly gifts. Their 
welcoming embraces were as loving, ardent, and cheer- 
ing as their good-bye kisses had been tearful and sor- 
rowful. 

But their joy was nothing when compared to ours. 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


19 


It was downright bliss, to be where one could walk 
about without danger of having ones brains dashed 
out against intervening objects, and where meals could 
be kept in the “ desired position.” 

If the outgoing voyage had been unpleasant and 
rough, what can I say of the return trip. Old Pluto 
was assisting his enemy Neptune in making fires to 
keep warm for the coming winter, for the ocean 
heaved and surged, and our steamer was tossed about 
like a straw on the mammoth boiling caldron. 

So ended our long .bridal tour. Subtracting the 
few never-to-be-forgotten, wretched days at sea, the 
remainder of the three months was all pleasant, profita- 
ble enjoyment, and will ever be the brightest oasis in 
the Great Sahara of our life. 


CHAPTER IY. 


OUR EXPERIENCE AT THE HOTEL “ LE BON TON.” 

A rest of a few days at father’s, and then we 
took possession of our rooms, previously engaged, at 
the hotel “ Le Bon Ton.” We had the most eligible 
and desirable apartments in the house, with a pleas- 
ant outlook and elegantly fitted. When our orna- 
ments, wedding gifts, and valuable articles of vertu 
were artistically placed, the suite (six in number ex- 
clusive of bath-room) was the admiration of all be- 
holders, besides being a most admirable place to dis- 
play my superb imported toilettes. 

Bob had his valet; I my maids, coachman, and car- 
riage. Altogether we expected to live far more satis- 
factory than hotel boarders usually do. The table was 
without fault, the attendance perfect, the clerks gen- 
tlemanly; in short everything was beyond criticism. 
We had hosts of visits from friends outside of the 
hotel, and several who lived in the house, for the 
guests of “ Le Bon Ton ” were above the common run, 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


21 


and very agreeable people. But like all hotels there 
were some who made a business of minding every- 
body’s aifairs, and leaving their own at loose ends. 
I sometimes think these sort of people have no 
personal matters to attend to, or they certainly could 
not occupy all their time with other people’s concerns. 

There were four ladies in the house, so overbur- 
dened with curiosity, that they never rested day or 
night, until they forced themselves into our apart- 
ments. They held consultations upon the propriety of 
calling, when they had not received wedding-cards. 
However, curiosity got the better of good manners (if 
they ever had any), and they came in pairs, took notes, 
and then compared results in a body. 

“We were the most delightful people they had ever 
known, and entertained in princely style. It was very 
evident that we had always lived in luxury .” These 
parvenus thought Bob was a “ perfect gentleman, such 
an acquisition to the hotel society, and I a most perfect 
lady,” until they discerned that we had not the slightest 
intention of either returning their calls or cultivating 
their acquaintance farther than a passing bow. 

What a storm of abuse they let fall upon our de- 
fenceless heads. 


22 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


“ Our rooms were furnished in the most wretched 
taste, and we decidedly shoddy. My garments were 
loud, over-trimmed, and common (notwithstanding which 
they had endeavored to make cheap copies of several). 
I was rude and too gay for a respectable lady. I was 
idle and lazy, and pretended I did not know how to 
do anything, when I had been ‘ raised to work.’ Some 
of their mothers’ aunts’ sisters’ daughters had lived 
near to my grandmother, who took in washing for a 
living, and* I was the very little barefoot girl who car- 
ried home the clothes, begged for something to eat, and 
sat by the stove in the kitchen of this mother’s aunt’s 
sister’s daughter. My grandmother finally died in the 
poor house, and I was sent to an orphan asylum, so that 
mother could go out to work; and this Mr. Wetherow 
was not my father at all ; nobody knew who he was, 
not even mother herself. She had been a chambermaid 
in a hotel, and father had married her because — he had 
to.” 

“ Bob was overbearing, coarse, too fond of his cham- 
pagne for dinner, as everybody knew, and we already 
lived like cats and dogs, because he was just beginning 
to find out the scandal about mother and me. He 
came in for his full share of admiration. Everybody 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


23 


had alvmys known that he was a newsboy in California, 
and somebody had taken pity on him and employed him 
to run errands. He had rewarded them for their kind- 
ness by appropriating ‘ ever so much 5 money and run- 
ning off ; that was just how he got his start. Some one 
of these nice ladies had an aunt who had a cousin, 
who had a sister, who had married the man who lived 
neighbor to the brother of the man whose father had 
picked Bob out of the gutter. There could be no pos- 
sible doubt about the truth of the story, for it came 
so direct .” Their final decision was that we were 
“ nobody, anyhow, and they were all so sorry they had 
called, and were dreadfully afraid we would return 
their visits. Of course none of them intended to be at 
home when we sent our cards.” 

All of this idle talk did not interfere with our happi- 
ness in the least, and made not the slightest impression. 
We were perfectly well aware that we had descended 
from good old aristocratic stock, and the blood in our 
veins was of too good a quality to be inflamed by the 
silly chatter of a few ignorant, envious women, who in- 
jured themselves tenfold more than us. 

The silent contempt with which we treated these 
scandal-mongers only incensed them the more, so when 


24 HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 

they found we had concluded to go to housekeeping, 
they said we were forced to leave the hotel because 
we had not paid a cent of board since we had lived 
there, and the proprietor had notified us that our 
rooms were for rent, to all of which we paid little or 
no attention. Bob was a trifle nettled, however, when 
they dared make assertions about nonpayment. 

We were engrossed in the extensive preparations 
for housekeeping. Two months of hotel life was a 
surfeit for Bob, and he grew restless, uneasy, and de- 
termined to have a home of his own, immediately. 
We were too impatient to wait to build, as had been 
our first intention. 

We lost no time in closing the bargain for a large 
and handsome stone-front just erected, for which Bob 
paid a fabulous price. Remodelling, to suit our fastidi- 
ous taste, was necessary. While an army of workmen 
made all possible haste with the interior decorations, 
we ordered the furniture and upholstery. These, added 
to our European purchases, were elegant enough in 
quality and extensive in quantity, requisite for a queen. 

I employed three or four seamstresses to make and 
embroider bedding, table linen, and the various other 
fancy things of lace and floss, zephyr and canvas, 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 25 V 

which go toward making any home attractive. My 
time was too much occupied with visitors and visiting, 
to spare a moment to give to the use of the needle. 

When all the arrangements -were near completion 
it was astonishing how disgusted we were with every- 
thing in and about the “ Le Bon Ton.” The house 
furniture was common and rusty, the waiters inatten- 
tive, the office clerks insolent and ungentlemanly, the 
table insufferable, the gossipping women unbearable, 

— we could not understand how we had borne all these 
discomforts so long. 

Thus what had pleased us so well three months 
ago, was now so distasteful, that overjoyed was not too 
strong a term for our feelings when our home was 
completed and ready for occupancy. 


CHAPTER Y. 


OUR HOME. 

At last everything was finished and in order, from 
the anti-moth cedar closet in the mansard, to the 
rat-proof, concrete-cemented cellar in the basement. 
"Not the smallest thing had been omitted or forgotten 
which the fertile brain of honse-finishers and furnishers 
could suggest and our inexhaustible purse could pur- 
chase. 

Bob decided that it would be appropriate to take 
possession the first day of the month, the first day of 
the week, and make the first meal — breakfast. 

The servants, eight in number, were engaged, and 
in charge of their respective departments. On the 
first of March we drove to our home. It was in a 
blaze of light, as warm as June, and gorgeous as a 
fairy queen’s palace. 

The artistic front door, ornamented with a good- 
sized silver plate, bearing in large letters 44 Mortimer,” 
was swung open by the liveried footmen. We stepped 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


27 


over the marble - floored vestibule and walked into the 
spacious hall, with its tessellated floor, marble wains- 
coating, and brilliant with Persian rugs, crystal chan- 
deliers and mirrors. 

We were conscious of very pardonable pride in 
being master and mistress of so enchanting an estab- 
lishment. 

Our parlors were perfectly exquisite, one in pink 
and blue satin, the other in lavender and gold with 
delicately colored moquette carpets and real lace drapery, 
relieved by ivory-inlaid ebony finishings exactly match- 
ing the frames of the furniture. 

The library was luxuriant with convenient tables, 
Queen Ann easy chairs and lounges, in which we could 
enjoy "the rare volumes which filled the massive book- 
cases. 

The blazing fire in the open fireplace gave a cheer- 
ful look of comfort to the dark Persian colors in the 
raw-silk coverings of the sitting-room, which was greatly 
heightened in effect by the crimson carpeting and fres- 
coed walls. This room was our pet, and was rendered 
all the more charming by the conservatory which opened 
from it with glass doors. 

The dining-room was quaint and elegant in East- 


28 


HOW BOB AND 1 KEPT HOUSE . 


lake style, with inlaid floors, rich Turkish rugs, and 
heavily panelled wainscoating. 

Bob’s smoking-room was arranged to his own taste, 
in dark green enamelled leather with plenty of comforta- 
ble chairs, foot-rests, smoking fixings of all descriptions, 
and small open fireplace. 

The brie d brae and music rooms were cozy little 
apartments adjoining the library. The brie d brae 
room was a perfect old curiosity shop, with a large paint- 
ing of Little Nell and her grandfather, the work of one 
of the most eminent artists, adorning the mantel. The 
valuable curiosities gathered in Europe showed to strik- 
ing advantage against the dark colored walls, with me- 
diaeval borders. The floor was covered with a rug of 
harmonizing colors. 

The music-room had been a sort of “bone of con- 
tention” between us. Bob thought red would be the 
best color. I said red would burn anybody up when 
they performed, and pale green would be pretty. Bob 
said that would freeze anyone who attempted to be 
musical. After much discussion we selected satin, with 
bright birds, butterflies, and flowers in their natural 
colors, scattered over a black ground with pleasing ef- 
fect ; the design being beautifully appropriate to music. 



HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


29 


Above-stairs nothing had been forgotten that would 
add to beauty, effect, and convenience. Our room was, 
then, a novelty. All the belongings were in Japanese 
design, and were purchased abroad. The walls were 
frescoed in imitation bamboo, with butterflies, caterpillers 
and cobwebs intermingled so artistically, as to seem so 
real that sensitive people shuddered. 

The furniture was inlaid after the “tea-box style,” 
and upholstered in blue and black satin. Everything in 
the apartment, from the smallest match-box to the an- 
tique lamp-shaped blue porcelain chandelier and the 
quaintly embroidered silk bedspread and pillow-shams, 
were thoroughly Japanese. 

Bob’s dressing-room was a perfect model, with its 
marble lavatory, mirrors, dressing-table, chest of 
drawers, which vied with mine in perfumery and 
toilet articles. 

The other four bedrooms, which were intended to 
be kept filled with guests, were furnished in the most 
tasteful manner, and contained baths and all other 
modern conveniences. The largest one in scarlet, the 
other in pale green, and the smaller two, a trifle less 
elaborate. The first in purple plush, and the second in 
brown velvet. All with everything an exact match, or 



V 


30 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


as one of the hotel gossips expressed it, u Everything in 
corresponding.” 

The dancing and billiard rooms, with mansard roof, 
were perfect, and all ready for use, even to the waxing 
of the floor of the former, and the placing of the chalk 
of the latter. 

The kitchen, laundry, larder, servants’ room, sewing- 
room, steam apparatus, drying-rooms, store-rooms, and 
wine cellar, in the basement, contained every known 
convenience and contrivance to lighten household labor 
and to assist culinary workers in concocting the most 
delicious viands with which to tempt human appetite. 

One room, during the entire preparation, had been 
under lock and key, and proved to be one of Bob’s ex- 
travagances. He said it was a “ store-room for his 
treasures,” and I supposed it was the safe-room, very 
appropriately placed next to ours; but when I saw the 
vaults in the dining-room, I gave up guessing. 

After we had made a thorough tour of the house, 
satisfied ourselves that not one of the endless number 
of elegant pictures was improperly hung, or an orna- 
ment had been left out or misplaced, and I had glanced 
in every mirror to admire the hang of my train as well 
\ as Bob’s handsome face and figure (I do believe I have 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


31 


forgotten to mention that my liege lord was very hand- 
some), we seated ourselves before the fireplace of the 
elegant sitting-room, I wondering what could be in the 
little room next to ours. Maybe it might be a picture 
of his first wife, of whom he had never before spoken — 
what if it should be. 

As I sat gazing into the bright fire, Bob drew his 
chair close to mine, and asked — 

“Lee — are you satisfied with everything — is there 
anything else you would desire ?” 

I hesitated a little, and then threw my arms about 
his neck and most smothered him with kisses. 

“ Everything was just grand from beginning to 
end, everything heart could desire is to be found, 
but — what — was in the little room ?” 

Bob gave me a good ling and a fearful squeeze, 
and pressed me to his heart, after the most approved 
high art novel style, and said, “ Come with me, and I 
will show you.” 

I flew rather than walked up the steps. Bob turned 
the key in the door. Swung it wide open. We 
stood in a room — surpassing all the others in marvel- 
lous beauty. 

“What is it for 2” was my question. 


32 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


“Your boudoir — the store-room for my treasure, 5 ’ 
was Bob’s answer. 

I looked about in admiration and amazement. The 
walls were hung in pink silk, overlaid with pleated 
white lace ; the carpet in the daintiest pattern of 
pink roses and buds, on a white ground. 

The furniture consisted of the prettiest writing-desk 
filled with writing materials of every description ; the 
most convenient and complete workstand, the most 
graceful flower stands, bookracks ; hanging shelves, and 
a pair of jardinieres filled with growing plants. The 
dressing-table was a marvel of beauty, loaded with per- 
fumes, powders, and cosmetics, in exquisite bottles and 
a satin-lined case, containing all sorts and sizes of 
ivory-handled brushes and combs ornamented with my 
monogram. The couches, lounging chairs, and foot- 
stools were made of satin and inlaid with ivory, upon 
which were medallions painted in bright colors. The 
furniture covering was pink silk terry, as was also the 
hanging to the cosy bay-window. 

Parian statuary, rose-colored vases and ornaments, 
were placed upon a unique cabinet as well as upon 
the tables and shelves. 

But the crowning feature was a marble bust of 


SOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


33 


Bob, standing upon a white onyx pedestal, in one 
corner of the room. It was an exact likeness and 
stood out in bold relief against the pink walls, as 
did the pictures of mother, father, and Bob. 

The whole effect of the room was bewildering, 
as the light blazed from the delicately wrought chan- 
delier, which sprang from the centre of the large 
mirror, over the dressing-table. 

I was so delighted as well as astonished, that I 
looked at Bob, then at the superb room, and with- 
out speaking one word of thanks I fell into one 
of the soft pink chairs and treated Bob to a sensa- 
tional scene by my expressing my gratitude in a flood 
of tears. Just what any other silly, weak woman 
would have done. 

A moment’s weeping, however, loosened my tongue, 
and I poured forth my thanks and admiration to the 
entire and unqualified satisfaction of Bob, who was as 
highly pleased with his work, as I was charmed with 
the grand result. 

I promised that when I got one of my tantrums 
(which, unfortunately, I very often did), I would repair 
to this room, rest and muse until the tempest had 
passed. 



34 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


I kept my word. The hours spent in this little 
room were the source of great comfort and consola- 
tion, and did much to lessen the trials and disappoint- 
ment of after life. 

We slept that night, feeling that our new home 
was just what we had intended it to be, a great suc- 
cess. We intended to enjoy it to our hearts’ content. 
Why should we not ? Did we not possess wealth suf- 
ficient to live just as pleased us best ? Did we not 
have hosts of friends to assist in enjoying it with us? 

Wealth and friends go hand in hand. Money is 
very productive of friendship, but when the worldly 
goods take flight, it is really amazing with what ra- 
pidity these firm friends spread their wings and follow 
in the wake of vanishing possessions. 


CHAPTER VI. 


THE EXQUISITE PLEASURE OF PRESIDING OYER OUR OWN 
CHINA AND SILVER. 

Our first breakfast was all we could desire. The 
decorated china, silver, table-cloth and napkins, were 
simply superb. 

Oranges never were sweeter, the smelts were a 
tempting brown, the porter-house was done to a turn, 
the Saratogas just crisp enough, the muffins delicious, 
and the waffles delicate and tender. 

Bob thought he never detected the fine flavor of 
his wine until he sipped it from one of our hand- 
somely cut breakfast wine-glasses. I was confident 
coffee never was more beautifully clear than when it 
poured from the mouth of my solid silver urn. 

We felt confident that we surely had a cook com- 
petent to serve an excellent breakfast, if nothing more. 

Bob looked pleased and satisfied, not to mention 
handsome, as he sat opposite to me at the head of 
our own table. I felt it was no flattery when he de- 


36 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


dared that I never looked better than I did in my 
soft pearl gray wrapper, beautifully embroidered in 
bright colored flowers and vines, finished with lace at 
neck and hands, with a jaunty breakfast cap to match. 
This was one of my most elaborate morning imported 
toilets, and had been selected for the occasion with an 
“eye to business.” You see the colors would har- 
monize with the furnishing of every room in the 
house, and I expected, that first day, to show the 
whole establishment to mother and father and various 
other visitors. I did not propose to show to disad- 
vantage myself, or have the colors of any room killed 
by too gay ones in my dress, or the dress in turn 
ruined by the bright rooms — hence the gray. 

The lunch and dinner of the first day were tri- 
umphs; only initials of a long list of brilliant enter- 
tainments, which followed in quick succession. 

Our invitations were nearly all accepted, for our 
parties were proverbially successful in every particular. 

Our germans were noted for excellent music nov- 
elty and elegance of the favors. 

Our card and billiard parties were always socially 
jolly, our teas were remarkably agreeable, and our 
dinners surpassed all other fetes in sumptuousness. 


SOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


37 


Rare viands were elegantly served, without the usual 
stiffness and frigidness of dinner companies. Besides, 
Bob was famous for his fine brands of wine, our 
lunches w r ere something entirely out of the usual line 
of such spreads. In fact, the frequency, lavish elegance 
and generosity with which we dispensed our hospitality, 
were the cause of much comment and high praise 
among those favored with invitations, and the source 
of as much jealousy and rude, ill-timed remarks among 
the uninvited ; particularly the hotel gossips. They 
found some congenial friends in our immediate neigh- 
borhood, and through them they spread such informa- 
tion as could be gleaned from the kitchen and servants, 
of the doings in our house, far and wide, with all the 
extra additions such people are usually in the habit 
of making. 

Only once, howfever, did any of them have occasion 
to satisfy their curiosity by gaining entrance into the 
house. This was in June, on the occasion of a hos- 
pital benefit, in the way of an evening fete, given at 
the request of our minister and the lady managers of 
the hospital. Bob was well known as a benefactor, 
and a noble giver to charity. On this occasion he not 
only opened his house, but illuminated the grounds 


38 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


and insisted upon donating the music and necessary 
refreshments. The managers issued invitations, and 
charged a reasonably high price, to prevent too large a 
crowd. However, the price made very little difference, 
for the event only afforded an opportunity for prying 
people to satiate their indomitable curiosity. They 
came in swarms and pervaded and overflowed the 
whole premises, crowded, and inconvenienced our 
friends, whom we most desired to receive. They came 
early and staid late, in fear of not examining the 
minutest objects of interest. 

Bob and I bore the intrusions with becoming pa- 
tience, for sweet charity’s sake. 

We were incensed when we heard how the scandal- 
mongers opened their batteries and gave us a broad- 
side. They were astonished beyond anything to see 
“ what perfectly courteous and grateful manners Bob 
possessed. How in the world a “poor boy” like he 
ever learned to be a gentleman. How did I ever 
learn to be so pleasant and agreeable. Surely my 
father must have been “ a somebody,” for I never got 
it from my mother’s side, or maybe they trained me 
well in the orphan asylum. Such a supper their eyes 
never beheld, and such delicacies they never before 


BOW BOB AND I KEPT BOUSE . 


39 


put into their mouths.” All of which we concluded 
was true to the letter, for they stared, opened doors, 
asked questions of the servants, examined everything, 
and literally gorged themselves with good things at 
the table. 

They had evidently come with the determination 
of getting their ticket money back at the table. 

I was so disgusted that I inwardly hoped the whole 
set would have an attack of bilious colic before morn- 
ing. 

Notwithstanding the great financial sweep of the 
affair, we made one decision, that was, to never again 
donate the use of our house for charity. 

It required a week’s labor to get the household 
machinery again in proper running order, so that we 
could go on with our usual festivities, which were con- 
tinued until July. Then we closed the shutters, drew 
down the shades, locked the silver in the vault, the 
china in the closets, and made a four weeks’ visit to 
the sea-shore, where we could rest, by foregoing the 
the pleasure of presiding over our establishment. 


CHAPTER YII. 


CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES IN HONOR OF THE SON AND HEIR 
TO OUR VALUABLE REAL ESTATE. 

It is scarcely necessary to enlarge upon the brilliancy 
of our stay at the sea-shore — suffice to say that Bob would 
not permit the wife of a “ Chicago real estate million- 
naire ” to appear in any way inferior to anybody at the 
hotel. 

My diamonds and jewels were large in size, fine in 
quality, and shone with conspicuous brightness. My 
toilets were numerous, stylish, expensive ; my maid 
understood the art of hair-dressing to perfection, which 
added no little to the general effect. 

Bob’s tailor had studied to display his nobby gar- 
ments to great advantage on Bob’s handsome figure. 
Taking both together we presented a very decided, dis- 
tinguished, and attractive appearance, and made as fine 
a show as anyone on exhibition. This added no little 
to the pleasure of our visit, for both men and women 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


41 


enjoy everything better, and feel more at ease, when 
conscious of being well dressed. 

After our return we did not open our doors to 
society generally, but a few of our more intimate per- 
sonal friends were frequent and informal guests at our 
social board. 

In the past year, much of our time had been con- 
sumed in giving enjoyment to others, but now I was 
occupied in — to me — a far more pleasurable amusement. 

My seamstress, assisted by a professional needle- 
woman, were busy at work in the sewing-room with 
closed doors. I sat with them, in the midst of piles of 
fleecy lace, shear muslin, fine linen cambric and soft 
flannels. When dexterous fingers had puffed and 
tucked these dainty materials into tiny little garments, 
fit for a fairy, they were carefully folded away in a 
miniature chest of drawers which stood in a room ad- 
joining our own. Much of the massive furniture had 
been banished to the attic to make place for the easy 
rocking-chairs, peculiar baskets, clothes-racks, and last 
but not least, an elaborate silk and lace trimmed cradle. 

In short our house had need of an additional room 
— a nursery. 

The arrival, on the first of December, of a son and 


42 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


heir to our valuable real estate was the signal for re- 
newed festivities. Cards were issued announcing the 
important fact, thus : 


R0RN TO 

LEONORA AND ROBERT A. MORTIMER, 

A Son, 

December 1st, 18 — . 

While we smothered the poor little thing in em- 
broidered blankets, and scorched his little feet by the 
open tire, filled his diminutive stomach with anise and 
chamomile teas, to keep his screams from being heard 
below-stairs, Bob was receiving the congratulations of 
his friends in the Eastlake dining-room. They ably 
assisted him in disposing of sumptuous lunches, and 
sampling his fine old wines. 

Gifts of all descriptions poured in upon the little 
innocent. Silver cups, rattles, lockets, rings, neck-chains, 
silver knives, forks, spoons, plates, napkin-rings, toys, and 
clothes — every kind of article ornamental and useful 
were received. 

Our dearest friends received invitations to a most 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


43 


sumptuous Christmas dinner given in honor of the son 
and heir. 

On New Year’s day I was the recipient of congratu- 
lations from a select party of visitors. 

Immediately after the holidays, the first important 
event was the christening. 

This rite should have been performed sooner, but 
the christening robe was delayed on the way from 
Paris. Certainly “ our boy ” could not be carried to 
church in an ordinary dress. The robe was pro- 
nounced exquisite in beauty. It was a mass of the 
finest point-lace, the delicate texture and pattern beau- 
tifully brought out, and a pale blue silk slip. 

The boy was given his father’s name, and was 
conceded the best behaved, the most beautiful, and 
most wonderfully smart child ever known. 

All this flattery pleased us amazingly ; we were 
quite ready to think it real truth. 

All our time not occupied with entertaining was 
fully taken up, noting his daily improvements and 
watching his health. Like all new parents, we ex- 
pected to see him go into convulsions every time he 
turned up his eyes, or stretched open his tiny hands. 
We made haste to summon a family physician when- 


44 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


ever he gaped or was attacked with the hiccups — 
Nevertheless, Bob and I were perfectly happy, and 
very properly extremely proud of our firstborn, who 
waxed stronger and grew in beauty each day. 

Why should he not be a child of 'fortune and 
fame, when he was, to all present appearances, “born 
with a silver spoon in his mouth.” 


CHAPTER VIII. 


ON THE TOP OF THE HILL. A SUDDEN CURVE BRINGS THE 
DOWN GRADE IN SIGHT. 

How we were in reality on the very top of the 
hill, which we had reached with rapid strides, with lit- 
tle or no exertion on our part. Here we fully ex- 
pected to remain in the midst of our luxurious com- 
forts the remainder of our lives. 

We looked with contempt over the shady side of 
the hill, upon the well beaten path visible in the 
dim distance. It was worn smooth by constant use, 
and led directly to the bottom. Certainly our well 
shod feet had too firm, a hold on the very summit to 
ever step on the slippery path, upon which so many 
unfortunates have fallen. 

The “ greatest fire on record” had swept away 
pretty much everything of any value, but real estate, 
and sent that away up to a fabulous price, far beyond 
the expectations of the most sanguine. 

Father, so well aware of Bob’s prosperity, and fol- 


46 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


lowing his advice, was satisfied there was “ millions 
in it.” He therefore converted his government bonds 
into real estate. He was governed by Bob’s judgment, 
and bought twice as much as he had ready cash to 
pay for. He filed away his deeds with the most com- 
fortable feelings. Surely he had something now fire 
could not burn. “ Nothing short of an earthquake ” 
could deprive him of these possessions. 

This property must be improved for the welfare of 
the city. So New York, Boston, and the United States 
mortgage companies were consulted. Of course these 
loans would only be for a year, the income in rents 
would be simply enormous, and in a year or so the 
ground and buildings would be clear. 

Everything was taken into consideration but the 
uncertainty of human events. 

Presently the panic struck . in the midst of our 
half built but well mortgaged city. 

It was like a bombshell shot from a two-hundred 
pounder. Its bursting was like an eruption from 
Vesuvius. It swallowed up everything within reach, 
and, with the fragments scattered far and wide, car- 
ried ruin and desolation with them. 

Without doubt we were so high above all others 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


47 


on the very pinnacle of success, that none of these 
annihilating missiles would strike us, as they did the 
less fortunate who were only half way up the hill- 
side. 

Bob and father looked around among the wrecks, 
to ascertain who were injured, and in their endeavors 
to assist others, they discovered, to their utter amaze- 
ment, that they had not escaped unhurt. 

Bob thought it of no moment ; “ this scare would 
soon blow over, and when the smoke cleared away, 
people would find they were more frightened than in- 
jured.” 

Bob kept up his spirits, and we still went on in 
the same booming style. 

We made no change whatever in our way of liv- 
ing, nor the slightest retrenchment. All our friends 
talked of economy and a more quiet way of keeping 
house. But Bob scorned all such notions. 

“All this sort of talk was woman’s chatter. There 
was not the slightest necessity for any fears for the 
future ; everything would come out all right, and bus- 
iness would be, if anything, better than before the 
fire. Real estate was bound to command high prices.” 

Father’s good judgment was getting the better of 


48 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


his rashness, and he took a more sober view of mat- 
ters. His face wore a perplexed and puzzled look. 

It was becoming very evident that the tremendous 
shock of the bursting panic-shell had so shaken the 
solid foundation of our fortune, that its situation was 
materially changed, and we were left in a compara- 
tively shaky condition. 

Had we been possessed of sufficient courage to have 
looked ahead, we would have discovered that there 
was a certain curve in the road we were travelling 
which, once passed, brought us on the down grade. 
But, blinded by our past success, we had steamed 
on at the highest speed, without either noticing the 
danger signals or whistling down the brakes, until 
care and caution were of no avaih 


CHAPTER IX. 


THE STRUGGLE TO LIVE UPON THE INCOME OF MORTGAGED 
REAL ESTATE. 

The summer was ended, the harvest was over, and 
we were not safe. 

As the fall passed and the winter approached, the 
effects of the panic were more severely felt. 

Bob began to talk a little more of retrenchment 
and economy. I noticed he gave fewer dinners and 
evening entertainments. We went less to theatres and 
operas. He was gloomy and moody, and read his even- 
ing paper in silence. 

Father and he were frequently closeted with law- 
yers for hours at a time. I was much taken up with 
the boy, but, nevertheless, could not help remarking 
how often I was required to sign papers, the contents 
of which I knew nothing. 

I never was considered a “ business woman,” and 
therefore nothing was explained. If I asked any ques- 


50 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


tions, I was simply told that “ I would not under- 
stand such things.” 

I at last did understand, however, that Boh had 
•applied K healing plasters ” to the gashes and slits in 
our possessions, until there was no available space to 
continue applications. 

All winter Bob kept up his pluck, and insisted 
that by spring things were bound to be “all right.” 
“ If we could hold on a little longer, everything would 
go higher than ever before, and it would turn out 
just as he predicted.” 

He might weather through the storm if he had 
something more to mortgage. So my “ ten-acre wed- 
ding gift” was proffered, accepted, mortgaged, and 
followed in the march of all the rest on the road to 
the sheriff. 

At last, we decided to live with a trifle less expense. 
We first discharged the butler, and then Bob’s valet was 
considered superfluous — the coachman could black the 
boots and attend to the fire. 

Then I spent several hours in quiet thought in my 
pink boudoir, and finally concluded I would deprive 
myself of my maid. At that time I considered I was 
doing a most magnanimous act, but if Bob could live 


BOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


51 


without a valet I certainly could get along without a 
maid. 

These changes reduced our expenses very materially, 
yet every department seemed to go on in the same or- 
derly manner. 

I was astonished to find how pleasant it was to take 
out and fold away one’s own clothes, and how easy it 
was to do one’s own hair. 

We thought best not to give any large parties this 
season, but Bob had a few “cronies,” as he called them, 
who had learned that the wine cellar was not yet empty 
and Bob’s cigar-case always full. They made it conve- 
nient to spend the evening very often ; just was going 
by and dropped in to talk over the situation — and they 
might have added — drink Bob’s good wine. 

During these visits I heard so much about land, 
mortgages, deeds, foreclosures, and so on, that I would 
get everything tangled and confused, and would leave 
them discussing beside the bright fire in the handsome 
library. I would slip off to my little “ haven of rest,” 
and would try to think how we could live in plainer 
style, and what I should do without horses and car- 
riages. 

One day Bob came in great haste and asked what I 


52 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


thought of raising a few thousand dollars on our home. 
Of course I consented. Down went the necessary signa- 
ture, and down went my heart to the lowest depths, for 
I knew now the last piece of property was gone. Fore- 
closure after foreclosure had been made, and yet the 
amount did not cover the encumbrances, so my wed- 
ding gift and now our elegant home must go to make 
up the deficiencies. 

I again repaired to my pink boudoir, and after 
spending several hours in tears and thought, principally 
the former, I, screwing my courage to the sticking 
point, determined to immediately give up my horses, 
carriage, and coachman, and thus cut off the expenses 
in the barn. 

The baby and I had not much sewing, and I thought 
best to secure another place for my seamstress. This 
left us with four servants, and our stunning style 
could not be kept up with the revenue of mortgages 
for our income. Therefore, we shut up the pink and 
blue and lavender and gold drawing-rooms, and used 
the sitting-room or library to entertain the few friends 
who visited us. Alas ! these visits were of the ultra 
angelic order, for it had now become generally known 
that we had nothing left but our encumbered home. 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


53 


Fashionable people have a perfect horror of calling 
at a house where they were accustomed to be ushered 
into the spacious drawing-rooms by a well-mannered, 
liveried waiter with silver salver in hand, and go through 
the ordeal of being invited to walk past the doors closing 
in so much gorgeousness. It is more than their sensi- 
tive nerves can bear, to ask after the health of your 
family in the library, when they are well aware that 
they are deprived the pleasure of sitting on the ebony 
and satin chairs because you are “ too poor ” to keep 
some one to sweep and dust the apartment they 
occupy. 

A few of such calls left me in a fit of shivers. 
The whole house felt as if a u Manitoba wave” had 
suddenly swept in along with the velvet and silk 
trains. So the calls lessened every day, much to my 
relief, for I well knew many of the visitors came just 
to see how I looked and how I “ took it.” They 
would go away and w T onder why father did not help 
us out. “ He always was close, anyhow.” Ah ! how 
little they knew. 

It was a clear case of Jack and Jill who went up 
the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and 
broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. 


54 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


“ Now, Jill up did get and home did trot, 

As fast as he could caper. 

And dame Jill had a job, to plaster his knob. 

With vinegar and brown paper.” 

Poor Bob was the Jack, and I being the Jill pos- 
sessed “ no vinegar and brown paper” to use in reme- 
dying the mischief of the fall. And dear father had. 
none to give us. His investments were even more dis- 
astrous than Bob’s, and had not my princely wedding 
gifts been taken up by the great cyclone of hard times, 
and carried away where the “ woodbine twineth V* 


W 


CHAPTEE X. 

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL. OUR HOME GOING. 

It was the first of March, the second anniversary 
of our “ going to housekeeping.” 

But what terrible changes two short years have 
brought, what a difference between the then and now. 

That morning Bob and I were a sort of mutual ad- 
miration society. Bob thought I looked charming, pre- 
siding over the decorative cups and saucers and silver 
urn. I never had seen Bob look so well as he did, 
when handling the pearl-handled carving knife. That 
morning we both agreed the dining-room was exqui- 
site, the table lovely, the breakfast delicious. We were 
infatuated with everything and with one another. 

Ah, but this morning, things were so changed ; 
everything was wrong, nothing was fit to eat, both 
Bob and I looked like fury, and were silent and ill- 
tempered. 

We had been talking over our affairs the night 
before, to see how they stood. We were horrified to 


56 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


find how rapidly the winter’s ice had helped us down 
the hill. That we were on the down grade we well 
knew, but how near the bottom we had never cared 
to ascertain. The rapidity with which we had slid 
down on the ice, had worn our elegant attire so thin 
that the chilliness and coldness had penetrated to our 
bodies and brought us to a realizing sense of an un- 
comfortable position. 

We left the table in disgust. I flew to my refuge 
to nerve myself to face the situation without flinching. 
The last straw had been broken upon the camel’s 
back. 

Our magnificent house and costly contents were to 
be sold in a week to satisfy the, as we thought, 
greedy and unreasonable creditors. 

I had need of all the strength in my possession, 
and I wasted none of it in foolish fretting, but shut 
my teeth hard and tight together, and vowed I would 
not shed a single tear. (I did, nevertheless.) 

I very gravely and soberly looked things over, and 
took in the whole affair. 

I concluded that the virtue vulgarly called “ pluck ” 
was all I needed. 

The outlook was indeed gloomy, the March winds 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


57 


lashed the plate-glass in the pretty bay-window of 
my little room, as it rushed and howled down the 
street. The weather-lion out-doors did not exceed the 
restlessness of the angry caged lion in-doors. Bob 
dashed and tore from room to room, up and down the 
halls, looking at all our valuables, and swearing, in a 
perfect rage, that he would not give up this, and he 
would not give up that. 

The roaring of both the animals set me wellnigh 
distracted. 

The week before the sale was one of terror, nearly 
all the rooms were closed, and we went about as if in 
a dream. Every noise startled us. The shutting of 
the door, or the crying of the boy sent a sharp thrill 
through us. We lived in a tomb. We wandered 
listlessly and silently about gathering together what 
few articles were not included in the mortgage. 

Bob was inconsolable; he could not bear the idea 
of living in the small house I had selected. He had 
searched for a day among the house-renter’s list, but 
not one could he take. 

I had found a modest two-story brick, with com- 
paratively few rooms and fewer conveniences, both of 
which deficiencies were made up with an unusual 


58 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


quantity of other people’s dirt. I thought, with a few 
remnants of our lost grandeur, we could at least be 
comfortable. 

At last the dreaded day arrived with all its hor- 
rors. Who but those who have had such an expe- 
rience can fully comprehend the unspeakable terrors 
of the first downward move in life. 

The memory of the sorrowful day hangs about 
me like the blood-curdling nightmare. 

The wagons drove away from our former palatial 
mansion, in a drizzling rain, for it always rains on 
such dreadful occasions. 

As the cook and I received the household goods 
at the new abode, it was difficult to decide which 
required the most drying, our eyes or the wet fur- 
niture. 

The good-hearted woman was ready with native 
sympathy. 

“ My sowl ! it’s a burnin’ shame to have the ille- 
gant furniture desthroyed ” — 

(It was the very plainest we had from the back 
part of the house.) 

Don’t cry, schild — God bless yous — you can live 
as happy here as in the big house, shure. ’Aven’t yous 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE, 


59 


got your health and your boy, shure, and he will be 
more comfort to you than all the foine things yous 
left behind, at all, at all.” 

Mary’s hands were as busy as her tongue, and 
she worked like a Trojan to put one room in order 
for the baby, so the “ little darlint wouldn’t catch 
his death.” 

I was at sea. I sat in despair among the deso- 
lation and ruin for a whole day. When I saw how 
entirely forlorn and forsaken Bob looked, I gave up 
grieving and set to work. Bob was of little use, but 
did what little he knew how to — which was precious 
little — 

I dived down to the bottom of a trunk, resurrected 
the oldest dress I possessed, tied my head in a towel 
and tried what I could do. 

Mary and I scrubbed, scoured, cooked, washed 
dishes, tacked down carpets, polished furniture, ar- 
ranged closets and drawers, and at the end of two 
weeks the place looked a little “settled.” Order was 
coming out of chaos, and the result of our work 
was quite satisfactory. The six rooms had the ap- 
pearance of what young housekeepers call a “ snug, 
cosy little home.” Some of the furniture was very 


60 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


large for the rooms, and we were compelled to saw 
the top ornaments off the bedsteads and bureaus to 
make them suit the ceilings. The carpets, too, did 
not tit. very smoothly in the corners and around the 
door-casings, and the patterns were very large for 
the rooms. In some rooms only one complete design 
was visible. However, we did not notice these defects 
and we had no visitors to make comments. The 
table-ware being our kitchen dishes, looked awfully 
plain and white after our Dresden china. Mary cooked 
as well in small quantities as she did in large, and 
we had plenty to do with — the contents of our store- 
room being the largest item in the move. 

After the household affairs were in good running 
order, we voted the nurse was a superfluity, and Mary 
added the occupation of attending baby to her many 
duties. 

When everything was complete in detail we rested 
from our labors and surveyed the whole with sadness 
and modest pride, and decided “ things might have been 
much worse.” 

There might possibly be some happiness in a home 
of six rooms with the appendage of one servant, and 
where contentment and love reigned supreme. The 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


61 


former we will keep a strong hold upon, and we shall 
guard the little windows well, to keep the latter from 
flying out, because poverty has entered through the 
door, which our own recklessness had set ajar. 


CHAPTER XI. 


THE LOOSE THREADS KNOTTED AT THE END. 

Bob was too much of a Chicago man to be long idle. 
After a short rest to recover from the shock of his re- 
verses, he had little difficulty in procuring a situation 
at two thousand a year. He was thoroughly dissatis- 
fied at the meagreness of the income, and declared it 
insufficient to furnish us with bread and butter. It 
did seem like the widow’s mite when compared with 
our former enormous outlay, but by strict economy it 
w T ould at least keep the wolf from the door. Fashion- 
able dressing was entirely out of the question, and we 
had little need of fashion’s finery. The pew in the 
high-toned church had been included in the assets. 
Mr. Poppenjay, the pastor (?), who was one of the most 
frequent partakers of our generous hospitality, in palmy 
days, and one of the very best connoisseurs of Bob’s 
wines, had erased our names from his visiting list, and 
swept us out of the velvet-carpeted and crimson-cush- 
ioned house of God, just as he would any other squeezed 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE. 


63 


lemon, too dry for further use. The good man, who 
was a faithful servant in the Lord’s vineyard, who had 
charge of the little church struggling for existence in 
our new neighborhood, received us with open arms. 
Neither he nor the congregation noticed or cared if 
our garments w r ere last year’s cut, and our hats and 
bonnets a year old. 

Company of any kind troubled us very little, for 
our live hundred fashionable friends never troubled 
themselves to ascertain our new address. The wheels 
of their tine carriages could not be mudded driving up 
a side street. Consequently only a very few trusted 
friends, those who had cultivated our society and not 
our wealth, retained our acquaintance. They cheered 
us w T ith their visits, and assisted us with their valued 
advice and experience. 

The hotel gossips had not been idle. They had 
known from the first, that our grand style would end 
just where it did. They always knew we had “ noth- 
ing to put on so man}? airs about, that was the reason 
they had never visited us. They should not be sur- 
prised if we died in the poorhouse yet.” Maybe their 
prediction is true, but fortunately there is no prospect 
of that yet. We go on in the most modest quiet way. 


64 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE, 


I experience the tortures of washing and ironing day, 
and then my mind reverts back to the easy lounge in 
my rest-giving little pink boudoir, and I wonder if I 
shall ever have another such a room. 

We have concluded we can live just as pleasantly 
and happily as we ever did in the great house, w r itli a 
round of gayety and a routine of servants. 

Bob does not smoke or have wine, and blacks his 
own boots. I wear cleaned gloves, a print wrapper in 
place of a cashmere morning-gown. We read by a 
student’s lamp in place of a gilt drop-light with a 
painted shade, and find student’s lamps very benefi- 
cial to the eyes, but terribly damaging to gas bills. 

Our silver door-plate was entirely too large for the 
narrow door of the little house, it was like a “jewel 
in a swine’s nose.” Besides, we are not over-anxious to 
let every passer-by know where we live, so the large 
door-plate, with elaborate Old English letters, is packed 
away as a souvenir of better days. It might be like 
the historic one bearing Thompson spelt with a “ p ” in 
possession of the Toodles family. Our son, too, might 
by chance use it on a prospective residence. However, 
we shall always cherish it tenderly as a relic of our past 
grandeur. It was conspicuous as an ornament on the 


HOW BOB AND I KEPT HOUSE . 


65 


carved door, which opened to admit 11s to such a regal 
home. That same door shut us out from our last 
valuable worldly possessions. 

Poverty is no disgrace, but then it is just a trifle 
inconvenient; for money is a necessary evil, that is 
very “ handy to have in the house.’’ Nevertheless we 
know by experience that home is not “ merely four 
square walls, with pictures hung and gilded.” We are 
patiently and cheerfully working and waiting in our 
six little rooms, until the “hard times’ wave” has 
swept by, and our ship comes in with the tide. 

Here we are instilling into our boy’s developing 
mind the principles of modest living and careful pru- 
dence, as well as the truthfulness of the proverb, 
“Economy is wealth,” and in the meantime are keep- 
ing stout hearts. 

“While our ships are sailing, 

Sailing over the sea — 

Bob’s ship and my ship 
Full as full can be, 

Sailing on the sunny tide, 

Grieving would be sin : 

Soon or late, and side by side, 

Shall our ships come in.” 


THE END. 




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